27. Anxiously Dating with Dr. Kate

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis talk about anxiety in dating and relationships. Our hosts welcome friend of the pod Dr. Kate. For this week’s adulting moment, Luis is wondering what is the difference between light and dark kidney beans and Chatrice is doing some extreme couponing (kind of) for some salsa. Dr. Kate talks to Chatrice, Luis, and the Cuties about where anxieties come from, how patterns in dating contribute to anxiety, and the role of friends in managing anxiety. Dr. Kate encourages us to ask important questions: are you ready to date? are you ready for the rejection? are you ready to turn someone down if someone is not a good match? 

Word of the Pod - expeditiously (adv.) with speed and efficiency

Time Stamps:

11:20 - Welcome Dr. Kate!

23:01 - Clinical interview on the first date

24:24 - Dr. Kate’s speciality

27:04 - Anxiety in dating

30:01 - Havin a therapist in college

31:45 - Fat friends being the supporting friends

34:44 - Where does anxiety in dating happen? 

37:14 - Trusting others while dating; pattern of bad dating experiences

38:45 - Challenging anxiety, locating the evidence for thoughts

41:12 - Are we doing good by our friends by pushing them a little?

43:01 - Being ready to date can help manage anxiety

43:57 - Chatrice asks, how do you know if you are ready to date?

45:01 - Rejection is part of the dating process

47:06 - What do you want in your dating journey: f**k buddy, catch feelings

49:18 - Applying queer studies to dating/relationships, expanding the definition of attraction

50:33 - Milenials and Gen Z being open to dating more than one person (generally)

51:24 - “Your partner doesn’t fullfil every single one of your needs

51:44 - Putting on your partner the expectation to be all the things and what happens if they do not meet that

53:20 - Pattern of people we date

54:17 - Best treatment for anxiety is low grade exposure

58:10 - Anxiety can cause dating to be a high stakes thing

59:06 - Equity in relationships

1:00:01 - Balancing independence with allowing yourself to be taken of in a relationship

1:01:26 - Being own people in a relationship

1:03:14 - Accept the person for who they are, recognizing one doesn’t have or need control in life

1:04:01 - Dr. Kate answers, can you date someone who has anxiety?

1:09:24 - WRAP UP: Dr. Kate gives advice when it comes to dating, anxiety, and insecutities